The lines that go something like, “yes I’m fine thank you”, “yeah I’m all good, you” but really mean “no I’m not okay but I’m not going to bloody admit it because I’m silly and want to shy away from my true emotions ok” are more common than not, right?
Those overwhelming few seconds and false few words can make you seem absolutely fine. They can make you seem happy, content and all good in yourself and with life, when in actual fact you’re feeling really quite the opposite.
You’ve told that person you’re fine to not make it about you, not talk about what you really feel and make them feel sorry for you. We don’t want to be pitied but we’ve all been there haven’t we? To those moments when you feel nothing but angst, worry and stress but tell the world we’re ok because we don’t want to seem pathetic.
I’m finally putting my hands up and admitting, I am very guilty of this.
I am one of those people who will tell someone I’m absolutely fine, make out I’ve had the best day ever when really, I’m a ball of emotions inside. I may not always have a smile on my face, I try my best, but even through a sad expression I’ll tell people I’m okay.
When us humans feel down, stressed or even worried about something, it’s very rare we want to put that pressure and emotion onto someone else. We feel the right thing to do is keep it to yourself, let that worry build up inside you until you want to burst, scream it at the top of your lungs and let it all out. When its put that way it sounds wrong doesn’t it, but we never think of it that way when we’re bottling it all up inside.
Sometimes I’ve kept my emotions in for so long and hid behind that oh-so famous line, “yes I’m okay thank you” that I’ve wanted to just not even answer the question. I’ve wanted to just walk away and let my actions speak louder than words, but I can’t even do that because lets face it, that would be rude wouldn’t it.
As much as us humans like to talk, we don’t really like to talk about ourselves, our emotions, when really we should. But when we see others happy, whether they truly are or not, we don’t want to dwell and let off negative energy.
When we feel down and actually decide to talk about it, we then struggle let it all out. We jumble our words, mix up what we’re saying and can’t let out what we’re really thinking. Then, it’s thrown back in your face, that braveness of opening up and letting it out. It’s like a vicious circle.
Yes, it would be fantastic to be able to get rid of these feelings and actually “be okay” at all times, or even have the ability to want to tell the truth. That would be a dream. But lets face it, its just not that easy.
Photography: Sarah Treacher
Sweater – Pretty Little Thing
Skirt – WearAll
Heels – Public Desire
Admittedly, I know how irritating it can be to hear those words from someone else when they’re not feeling themselves to. I’ve heard it many times and asked again and again, but like me, they just say they’re fine. You can’t keep digging either, because you know how horrible it feels when you’re trying to keep in what you’re thinking and not let a soul know.
But, my god does it feel good to open up, or even hear someone open up and release their emotions, tell the truth and not hide because the overused line, “yes I’m okay”.
Let me let you in on a little secret, as I say I don’t share enough.
As annoying as it is, I’ll probably always be this way. I would never reply to the “how are you” question with my true emotions every time. I should really, because that’s honesty, and honesty is the best policy, but I don’t feel its right to dwell on emotions. That’s what society tells us anyway. It tells us to just “keep going” and “get on with it”, but it’s not always that easy.
I try to push myself to tell people that ask that I’m actually not okay today, but the “yes I’m okay” line always manages to beat me to it.
So guys, please give people a little time to open up, if they never do then it’s just something we have to deal with.
Be there for each other, if you want to talk about how you’re really feeling, please don’t feel its wrong to. Its good to open up and I really am trying harder to do just that myself.
Next time someone asks and they or you say “no I’m not so great today”, discuss, love and always be there. The same goes to if they say they are okay but are really not.
A rambling post and a fair few moments of ‘should I really post this for everyone to see and know’ has made me realise I need to admit more, I need to face reality and tell the world everything isn’t perfect.
Until next time.