As I sit here at my laptop on a very snowy cold and blustery Friday morning, not even my on MacBook but an old PC, I think hard about what technology has done to my life. I mean this in both in good and bad ways, but more so how it’s made fomo, anxiety, stress and worry all at their heights from time to time.
Sitting here on an old PC has actually made me reminisce on those times I wouldn’t be online all the time, just because we didn’t ‘feel the need to’ back then, about 5/10 years ago. Being online all day everyday wasn’t a ‘thing’.
I sat here for a good half an hour or so this morning scrolling through my phone, on Twitter, then Instagram and then Twitter again. Then I was going through emails before going on scrolling through my camera roll deciding which image will best fit my Instagram feed next, all whilst not feeling 100% happy. I had this sudden realisation that going through social media and going online first thing in the morning isn’t always an uplifting feeling. Don’t get me wrong, some mornings the online world inspires me, gets me motivated and ready to work. But then again, some mornings it fills me with nothing but angst. And then, I know today won’t be the best day. Why do I let this happen? Why does it make me feel this way? Why is this a thing that I let get to me, let worry and stress me (and all other horrible emotions)? Let me tell you.
I feel there’s not enough time.
Not enough time in the day to get everything done. I feel that being online is a necessity and also the right thing to do. I feel that it’s obligatory to go online and see what’s going on with not only the world, but other peoples lives. See what other people are doing, and not only there worries but there feelings of angst to.
Of course, not everyone posts negative things online everyday. Some things may not even be negative but might tick in my brain the complete wrong way and get me down. Did they mean for it to happen? No. Do I let silly things get to me for no reason? Yes. Doesn’t everyone? And that’s the problem. Social media is a place to share the love, find new connections and all that good stuff, but it doesn’t always comes with its positives and I don’t think enough people give themselves space and understand its ok to not be online for a few hours, a few days if needs be.
TOP – WEARALL
SKIRT – WEARALL
SHOES – PUBLIC DESIRE
Just recently I hit a brick wall and a million and one things were getting to me and I realised that more than half of those things were to do with either social media or just being on my phone in general. It wasn’t making me happy. So, I took that big leap (yes it’s a big thing for me to not be on my phone 24/7 as I am on it a lot, for my blog, to catch up with friends and all that stuff) and decided to remove myself for a couple of days. Did it work? I think so.
I removed myself from social media and after just a few hours I felt happier. I felt a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders and I could worry about just myself and not others for once. Sounds a little bit selfish when I put it that way but selfish is good sometimes. We need that selfishness to make time to focus on ourselves. We need time.
There’s that word again. Time.
When things get a little out of hand and you can’t figure out why you feel stressed about nothing, why you feel the need to have a little sob for no reason whatsoever, take some time. Some time away from social media. Even if it’s not the main problem, or maybe not even the problem at all, time to yourself without reading up on other people’s lives gives you that space and that time to think, to reconsider and reevaluate your feelings.
Some days I can wake up and feel as motivated as ever. I feel I can smash out my todo list before lunch (probs couldn’t but my motivation is at its peak). Then, I go onto social media, get distracted, find myself sitting there at 11am and haven’t completed a thing. All I’ve ticked off the growing todo list is ‘yep, Megan has spent another morning wasted on social media’.
I’m not saying I won’t go on my phone as much. I’m even not saying I’ll be social media free more than I will be active online, but I will come off when enough is enough. When I’m starting to feel that same emotion I get from being online or even if it’s making a non-related emotion or stress feel worse, I will remove myself until I feel ready to pick it back up again.
Recent events really have made me babble haven’t they. But after spending some time offline and some time to myself, I feel a whole lot better for it. If I were to go on my laptop to write a post or even edit some pictures, I turned off my WiFi and pretended the online space didn’t exist. It felt like going back to school and those IT lessons where all you could use was Paint. Those were the days.
Time is our virtue, so instead of living in the moment online and not feeling great, make your time count and live in your moment.
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