Thoughts on a plane are best to be written down and not forgot, do you agree? It’s a moment you can just sit, think and enjoy – quite a ‘pardon the pun’ moment for this post funnily enough. You’ll get why in a minute. This thought is one I just had to share with you.
As I sit here on the plane, very sleepy from a 5am start but very excited for my trip away, I have thoughts spiralling in my head that are unstoppable. I’ve been having these same thoughts on and off for two or so weeks now and I can’t get them off of my mind. It’s hard when you’ve got so much to think about, so much to do, so much to plan and add to your to-do list, to settle down and live in the moment.
Being someone that likes to keep busy (for pretty much every waking hour of the day) it’s hard to switch off. It’s hard to live in the moment, it’s hard to slow down and sit, think and be in the present. It’s hard to slow down let alone take time out and that to me was a good thing, until just recently. If any of you are the same, you’ll know how I feel and what I mean. For those who don’t like to be busy all the time, here’s what it feels like.
When I wake up, the first thing on my mind is what I’m going to do today, what time I’ll do what thing and if I don’t have anything planned, then I better get cracking at making sure I get at least something done. I find it hard to sit still, I’m always on the go and sometimes don’t stop all day without even realising it – even if it’s running small and pointless errands, I like to be doing something. Anything.
I’ve been this way for as long as I can remember. Since I was a child I’ve always preferred to have plans and be busy busy busy than to sit in and watch Netflix all day. I like to have a to-do list and actually get it done. I even set early alarms for no reason, add stuff to my to-do list throughout the day that could wait until next week. Yes, at times it got very overwhelming, but that challenge and fast pace excited me.
Then, a few weeks back I hit a brick wall. I felt low. Lower than I had in a long long time and I didn’t know why. I couldn’t figure out what had happened and why I had the urge to have a Netflix day, close the curtains and tear up my to-do list. I told myself it was hormones, then figured that wasn’t it. So then I told myself I’ll wake up and be fine the next day. I woke up the next day, I wasn’t fine. I had no idea what made me feel this way and it took me a good old while to realise what had happened. My mind has gone into overdrive, my body was exhausted from this constant non-stop pace, worry that I wasn’t doing enough and feeling like I needed to be busy as much as I possibly could. I’d sent myself into complete exhaustion and made myself unhappy just because I was living in the future, for what was or could be to come, and not in the present. I just couldn’t live in the moment. I found it impossible to take day by day, minute by minute.
Instead, I was thinking about what’s next, how will I tackle the next thing off of my to-do list, how will I tackle tomorrow and what on earth will I do if I have no plans. I was driving myself a bit crazy to say the least. But I hit that brick wall. It took me time to understand why all of a sudden I’d hit this brick wall, but when I understood, I felt happy. I felt happy that I’d finally realised it wasn’t necessary to always be busy, always have something todo.
A weight had been lifted off of my shoulders that I didn’t realise was there. It was time to live in the moment, live for myself and not worry about the little things in life that can wait until tomorrow, next week even.
After a week or so of tackling the issue in my head and deciding what I should do to make myself happier and actually do something to make myself slow down, it was time to change my prospects. It was time to live for the now instead of worrying what tomorrow will bring. I spoke to a few people and they admitted I needed to slow down, and if you’re questioning whether you need to as well, maybe take the same advice.
I actually write this as I’m on a plane as I feel it’s pretty fitting.
I’m off on an adventure, to a city I’ve never been before. To explore, see and experience new things. And, to make the most out of that I need to live in the moment, just like I’d decided to from now on. I need to enjoy every second and not worry about planning ahead. Instead, I will take each moment as it comes and in a way, try and be worry-free. Well, worry-free of a to-do list. After all, this is probably the best time to challenge myself. Being away means you can and should relax and live in the moment. If I can’t then, I never will.
Travelling always inspires me to try new things, and this time it’s trying something new for myself and to create a more relaxed and present me.
As before, my head was always in the clouds and living for tomorrow, not the now. I felt like I was constantly ticking, constantly looking for something todo and always trying to juggle at least two things at once.
I’m not saying I’ll put off my to-do list every day, and I’m not saying I’ll be ‘worry-free’ all the time, because that’s just not life. Life does come with worries and stresses, it would be nice if it didn’t but there you have it. But, from now, I plan to not add to the worries life throws at you with my mind in override.
That’s all for now.
The guy next to me is snoring and I need a nap.
Photography by Sarah Treacher
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